I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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