I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
