you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
