my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
