Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am one with the molecules
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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