I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
ok first of all what the fuck
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
