just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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