Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
