the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My life is pants optional.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
