return my video game
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
