I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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