Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize