Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
