Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
