Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
