We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
