oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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