Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
