I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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