Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
