If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Panties = found
Randomize