May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
