Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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