If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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