That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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