I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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