What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
