Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
