He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
