Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
