We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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