idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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