Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
