Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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