i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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