conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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