After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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