how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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