i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
