White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
