My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The uberlube is also flammable
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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