we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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