Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
