Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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