My room smells like vodka and shame
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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