i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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