her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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