her vagine was all disorganized.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
