smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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