You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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