How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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