over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
