And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
handjob tips. give me some.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
