it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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