I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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