Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
